I'm Baaaaack!

M, you hit the nail on the head.  You really need to write me more often after 2 glasses of wine. 

I have too much going on (or plans, or thoughts, or ideas) and I can't focus.  I remember in college around finals instead of studying all I wanted to do was hide in my room and sleep.  Slug. Today, I am focusing.  I looked at my personal "list" of stuff to do, and the world will not end if I don't complete a single thing on there. But every minute of my waking hours, I in some way think about my weight (what I'm eating, what I'm going to do, what I didn't do, how my clothes feel, etc etc etc). 

So last night, I printed out a calendar (I need structure!) - Mem Day to Labor Day.  14 weeks. I really should not have any unsurmountable excuses in there. I ran this morning.  It was ugly, but the point is that I got up and did it, right away in the morning. I did my ab exercises. I am working on a menu, and preparing a grocery list.

I had many realizations, but two that are top of mind.  Why is consistency always an issue for me? I always fall apart during PMS week.  I feel like crap, I don't sleep - it all snowballs. I know my hormones are a mess, but with my supplements I am doing what I can about that. Acknowledging that, I think I can now be hyper aware (it's not like it's a surprise when it's coming!)  I also found a chapter in the 17 Day Diet Book (b/c you know I read them all - which by the way, they all say the same thing) on PMS and different foods (nutrients) to help through it without falling apart.

The next thing is regarding lifestyle - I feel I have lots of good habits from years of doing this.  But obvioulsy something is amiss, so I had to think about it.  I think it is because I don't cook.  I hate everything about it, I hate the grocery store, and I have been blessed with a husband who just takes care of it. Even in 1989 (?) I relied more on WW frozen meals than preparing anything.  If I make a menu, Doug will follow it - I'm not blaming him.  I think I just need to engage in the process more.

When I am healthy, my family is.  After I ran this morning, Doug rallied and decided that he should go. When I leave fresh, cleaned berries on the counter, the kids eat them (like me, they would never dig in the frig and cut them themselves).  There are residule benefits as well - I want Doug to be healthy.  I want my kids to be fit and feel good about themselves.  When I am a slug, Doug is.  When I don't stock the kitchen, we eat out. In a large part, it is up to me!  We all feed on each other (pardon the pun!).

Even though I was "off" this past week, I did not gain weight so I feel like that was a gift.  I sign of motivation!

And by the way, I slept like a rock last night.

Ethel