Misery Loves Company

I just have to start with the little bit of irony that I'm sure you've noticed . . . you live in the nicest place you ever have (weather wise) and NOW you join a gym?  It's just funny - I would imagine gym membership is much higher in Duluth! LOL.

But I know that misery loves company, so here goes . . .

I have been such a slug! I don't know why I am in this "depressed" cycle.  I know that when I exercise consistently and eat well that I feel better.  So why don't I do it?  I am a reasonably intelligent person - but it does not seem to be an issue of mind over matter.

It has been almost exactly a year that I have been back at WW, and I can count on one hand the meetings I have missed. Guess what?  I weigh almost exactly the same. (down 2.5 lbs).  I listen, I journal, I have tried to recruit exercise buddies, tried new classed, I read everything. I spent $$$ on a trainer for 18 mos. and never lost much (lots stronger, but no size change). I juice, I make protein shakes, tried doing menus and recipes, I had goals (like my dad's wedding - wanted to look better in pics) to no avail. I wore my activelink for months. I have been in about a seven year rut. I hiked 17 m last Fri, and 15 yesterday - but in between I did near nothing. What is my problem with consistency?

It has been a weird year. I don't know if it's my Dad's situation, Woody passing away, worrying about my teenager, unsettled at work, frustrated with my husband, or the miserable rainy weather we have been having for months. But I don't want to do much of anything (not even scrapbook!). I waste so much time, which then makes me more depressed. The spiral continues.

My naturopath did a blood test for me to determine my ApoE type. So I know what I am supposed to eat. I know that I am allergic to wheat (and when I eat it, sure enough I had bad stomach issues two days later). These are facts, that determine my future health. If I don't take care of myself, my body type is very susceptible to diabetes and heart issues.Why doesn't that resonate with my brain and motivate me to get it together? You would think that actually feeling sick would make the decision of what I eat come more easily. I never really thought I was a lazy person. But in honesty, I guess I am - I am too lazy to get up early to exercise for myself, to plan meals for my health, to go to the grocery store, to cook . . . pretty basic life skills! What will make it click?

If Lucy can get "back on the wagon" then Ethel can, too!  I think that you are right - one step at a time that we know works despite our "fog." I just don't know what step to take first . . . it is overwhelming.

I really wish we could plan a weekend to get together! Can you think about hiking at all? Fall will be here soon!

E