Monday, August 29, 2011

Right Back At Ya

OK - You're right! I can come up with a hundred reasons why I love you! But myself? Much harder!

10. I love you b/c you are older than me. OK - just kidding. That one doesn't count.

10. I love you b/c when I was drunk and passed out you took my contacts out for me (see, 20 yrs ago, but I remember!)
9. I love you b/c you listen, and you can relate. You don't judge, you don't try to fix (unless asked). You just listen and seems you can always totally relate!
8. I love that you can shop. You are equally thrilled purchasing a prada purse or a great find at Target. We may spend $500 on the spa, but darn it, only $19.95 on the rental car.
7. I love that you can watch the same movies over and over and still laugh. Bon Appetite!
6. I love you b/c you love Mellencamp. And Meatloaf.
5. I love that you are an honest and fair person. You don't care what others think - you say and do what you believe in.
4. I love that you are as directionally challenged as I am.
3. I love your attitude that you can do anything. From a trapeze class to figuring out a remote control. It is inspiring.
2. I love that you are an interesting person. You always know the "latest" thing, place, show, whatever.
1. I love that you have a Big Heart.

Jessica


Sunday, August 28, 2011

We need more practice.....

Ok Jess --

I felt the same way you did trying to list those 10 things......what if the stuff I like about myself wasn't that significant, what if someone else read it and thought....you're not really that, etc.  Typically stuff that runs through my head...."my story."  I am on a mission to change my story -- it was a good story when I was 25 or 30 years old -- but now I need a new story.....one that reflects me for who I am today.  But I agree we have all been telling our stuff all the things we don't love about ourselves for so long....it's freakin' difficult to think of what we do like.  We say we know we are loved and that we are good people, etc....but we can't easily come up with 10 things we like about ourselves.  So we are going to practice....

I'm going to tell you 10 things I love about you -- and I mean love!  You are an amazing friend and fabulous woman!

1.  I love that you have remained my friend through thick (hmm...funny choice of words for us) and thin -- through all the ups and downs -- you never took any time off....you were always there.
2.  My only friend in life who I believe has visited me in every state I have lived in.
3.  I love that you love pizza as much as i do.....minus the mushrooms.
4.  I love that you will stay up till 3 in the morning scrapbooking with me like we are kids.....even at the age of 45
5.  I love that we go to bed exhausted after said scrapbooking and we can't go to sleep because we can't stop talking and giggling
6.  I love that you take care of me when you know I am hurting from some injustice in the world -- you email me, you send me a card....you make me laugh and you help me pick up the pieces and shove them back together in whatever chaotic manner we can.
7.  I love the person you have become after leaving Kohls and changing your lifestyle -- you are truly a great example for me
8.  I love that you let me talk you into crazy stuff and......
9.  I love that you are pretty damn good at coming up with your own crazy stuff!  AT
10.  I love that you obsess over stuff -- it's so fun and shows me how passionately you live your life!
11.  I could go on for at least another hour....I suspect!  But I end on this one -- I love you because I can count on you no matter whether it's something fun or scary.....to be there for me.

Hopefully some of this helps you know how much you are loved by others -- so there is no reason to not love your self with the same passion that you live your life!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

List of 10 - Hmm . . .

I have to say this challenge intimidated me - I could not even think of 10 things! Then I pondered how sad that was, so instead of thinking so hard about it, I decided I am just going to list ten b/c the purpose is to make us feel better, right? And we all need that!

Ten things that come to mind that I like about myself:
1. My health - and these habits set examples for others
2. I have raised (am raising) three responsible, respectful children
3. My green eyes - we are a limited population
4. I am well read - I read every day, enjoy it, and read pretty much anything
5. Open minded to explore new places and learn new things
6. My sense of creativity and color, but I can use my left brain
7. I am an organizer. I get things done.
8. I have a sense of humor. About myself, I can make others laugh, and see the light side of most situations.
9. I am a thoughtful gift giver
10. My general sense of optimism. I can work with a little, see the best in things, and always look forward to tomorrow. :)

Waterworks!

Thank-you so much for opening the confessional! I laughed so hard at the visual of us rolling down the White Mts, with M&M's falling out of our packs. Bring it on! I was crying, laughing. I so needed that! After my "zero" day, and pizza dinner (and Doug did a 60 m bike event - but of course he never comments or judges, you know). I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I have kind of been having the opposite problem of you - not much (work) to do. I know you probably can't fathom it, but it puts me in to a complete lethargic, depressive funk. I know you don't need to hear about how I slept in (b/c I didn't sleep all night) and painted my toenails, worked out, read an entire 384 pg book on Fri, etc while you are working your tail off. Yes, I do have a million more productive things I could do with my time, but I just cannot muster the focus. It's like if I'm not busy, I can't do anything - not walk the dog, clean a drawer, cut a celery stalk, or run a report. I can't explain it, and I know you are not sympathesizing with me - I am just being honest! Weird lazy non-productive funk.

But tmrw, back on the bandwagon! I hope to hit the IAT. And Mon I will need to start attacking some work for real.
Jessica

A little dust on the bottle.....

From my backyard...

10 things I like about myself.....

In an effort to balance the negative energy I delivered in my last post -- I'd like to revisit the things I like about myself.  I'm pretty sure we are all clear about what I don't like.  So let's try this --

1.  I like that my hair is red....even if I have to help it along a little bit
2.  I have a history of being athletic -- I'm a runner at heart
3.  I like that I am curious -- always want to try new things and have new experiences
4.  I like that I started out a small town girl
5.  I like that my friends are few....but genuine
6.  I like that I am humble
7.  I love that I love animals
8.  I like the fact that I don't act my age
9.  I like that I don't give up -- I keep trying
10.  I like that I think all things are possible..

Now it's your turn!

Melissa

Confessional open for business....

I'm with you Jess -- I peaked at a weight I haven't been at in probably 3 years.  I was eating bad and not exercising....but my God -- I was gorging myself.  Friday I pulled myself up by the boot straps and started fresh.....again.  Friday had my final 1424 meeting....now the area is officially in the hands of the new girl.  I t was a planning meeting and I was like a lame duck president.  So far behind in my work I had to put in 5 hours today and still more to do tomorrow.  I had the finality of changing my recorded voicemail message -- to not include plus sizes.  Crazy how it all gets to you.

I feel a little empty -- I had a bunch of David meetings this week, a 2 day offsite to work on strategy building and yes....the company picnic.  The meetings were very mediocre.  I feel like I am under the microscope....but just my own view -- but it gets to me either way.  I worry that I am becoming such a negative nellie -- that people are steering clear of me.  Except for my one pain in the ass team member who suggested via email today that i needed to be sensitive to her workload.  Thought about screaming F*** You....but politely told her I needed to be sensitive to the whole team not just her.

Where do these self-centered, entitled and obnoxious people come from....and how the Hell did she get on my team.  Now that the team is smaller she is going to get a lot more of my attention -- and I can promise she is not going to like it.

Now back to me..... :)  and you of course!  I don't care if we are so fat we roll -- we are going to have a good time.  We are gonna talk endlessly, take in the amazing views, take about a million pictures -- causing everyone to have to wait for use, then we are gonna make fun of whoever we want -- including ourselves.  And for God's sake if we have to huff and puff to do it....we will!    I think I'll fill my pack with bags of M&M's, to hell with rice!

Watch out world -- there are two peri-menopausal women headed toward the Appalachian Trail....don't get in our way!  We are several pounds overweight and could be dangerous.

Friday, August 26, 2011

PISSED OFF!

.6 of a pound?! I eat less than a squirrel. I work out like a maniac. It just pisses me off. There is just something wrong with my body! I just want to crawl back in my bed an read all day. Not a good place to be on a pizza Fri, heading in to the weekend . . . I thought maybe if I came to "the confessional" it could get back in perspective.

Regroup, regroup, regroup . . . . Arrggh!

JW

Monday, August 22, 2011

Right With You, Sister!

* I am sooooo with you! I was right on track post-vaca, lost 4 lbs, etc. Then I have 3 nites in a row of NO sleep which just throws me off. I barely exercise, I eat crap, I down diet cokes, I nap in the afternoon, I get nothing done - the cycle just exaperates itself. I SWEAR it is hormonal - some kind of peri-menopausal thing or something. Everything in my life and house is completely out of control - so of course I put 2.2 back on.
* Meanwhile, I do my Mud Run - which yes, was very fun with my friends in the pouring rain, but honestly? I ran like crap. I had to walk up some hills. Frankly I was worried about twisting an ankle (it was indeed treacheroulsy slick) but the fact is that I was at the tail of our little pack and I know I can clearly run 3 miles. Later in the day, I was thinking that I really felt like a loser. They had to wait for me (well, only a few minutes, but still!) to cross the finish together. Add that to the psyche. They're my friends - I'm sure they do not care - but you know!
* Yes, in my years of Catholic School, I suppose any form of self-reflection is a type of confessional. At least we are not "physically" self-flagulating ourselves (did you see DaVinci Code?) But the point is to reflect, cleanse, absolve thyself and move on to improve!

* SO, today is a new day! In fact, yesterday (after my nap) I started cleaning my house; I got up early today and walked, got my nutrition back on track, and worked out mid-morning. Now if I could only concentrate on work I would be good.

* BTW, Steve was a Piper City, IL boy who worked in Canada (for Goodyear). In fact, I think he may still live there. Speaking of Steve's, I think you should look up the Moosejaw one and have him outfit us for our adventure!
* SIX WEEKS! We can focus for SIX WEEKS, right?! Let's do it! We will NOT be at the tail of the hiking group! And let's set a realistic goal . . . 6 lbs? (I'd like 10, but let's say 6!) Are you game?

Sunday, August 21, 2011

I'm not Catholic.......

But does this blog strike anyone else like a form of confession?  Jess -- I think you are catholic.....Good God I ought to know since I was in your wedding -- but can't remember....I think I had too much fun in that limo visiting the winery.  And God knows I was focused on that cute Canadian boy Steve.  (he was Canadian right....am I making that up?)  Don't know about Jodie -- are you Canadian....just kidding I mean Catholic?!


+3

Ok.....I'm caught up in an ugly battle with the scale.  Last weekend I had taken off nearly 3 pounds....then mid way through the week they were back.  It derailed me.  I took on the...."what the Hell -- if I can't lose weight -- I'll just eat like crazy and throw caution to the wind."  Which I did.....and I think we all know the outcome.   Total irritation with myself.  I did get out and play 9 holes of golf today....and of course prepared for my work offsite.  I've got a big week ahead of me.  Lot's of David meetings (he's the CEO dude).  Sort of feel like he's watching me...grading me, determining if I'm as valuable as I'd like to think I am.  I don't feel nervous -- but for some reason this type of situation makes me feel a little rebellious.  I can't really explain that element.  It strikes me as odd -- but its still there.  Kind of like this......F you sort of feeling -- which goes against all my insecurities....which I seem to be riddled with.

I do feel more relaxed in some way after all this job stuff.  That and there hasn't been a "mom" issue for at least 2 weeks -- so I am feeling damn near giddy!

That's enough "piss & vinegar" for now!  I'll get back to you guys in a few days and let you know how it all goes!

Mel

Monday, August 15, 2011

Back on the Trail Again!



I had such a crappy weekend! After a great week - worked hard exercising, great nutrition - then I just fell apart. I was such a slug; it rained, then I got lazy, slept in, started snacking . . . when I finally got dressed to run it stormed again (heaven forbid I go to the Y!). Then I had a bunch of kids here and made pancakes, which of course I ate (when yes, I could have easily made myself some eggs). It goes on and on. Of course I felt like crap this whole time.






FINALLY, Sun afternoon we headed out to the Trail and put in 6 miles. It felt so good. I don't know if it is the exercise, or the fresh air, or the sense of accomplishment or what, but naturally everything fell back in line! It is my new cure all! I had a not-great day of work, so guess where I am now headed!



Jessica







Saturday, August 6, 2011

Centering....

A Strozzi term -- for grounding yourself and preparing for what's next.  I am trying to do just that.  Went to my WW meeting today....and I can admit to you guys -- I am actually heavier than I was back in November when I joined.  That's ok -- I feel good that I haven't given up.  Bought a new journal to record my food intake and exercise schedule.  A new journal for me is like the key to everything -- I to this day can't believe I don't write in a journal everyday.  I love journals and actually like solving problems by writing about them....but somehow have never gotten in the habit of keeping a personal journal.

Sitting on my back porch listening to the rain and enjoying the fireplace.  A pretty darn good Saturday night by my standards.  Trying to calm myself -- before the onslaught of work.  Between now and the last week of August -- I have a massive amount of work to accomplish.  So I'm trying not to panic.  Also truly trying to understand how you hold on to your self......"honor yourself" as Jodie and I discussed last weekend while going through these type of times.  There are several personal things I feel the desire to do -- bur reluctant to take my eyes off the work.  How can I excel at work if I don't give it everything.  Trying to figure out how to delegate more.

I feel relatively calm right now -- not sure why -- but grateful for the feeling!

MM